Dear Younger Me… Waiting is Honorable

Dear Younger Me,

Waiting is honorable.

Society, friends, movies, satan, will constantly try to tell you and make you feel like not dating, not having sex, not having your first kiss, is weird and embarrassing.

I’ve felt that numerous times, that perhaps, there is something wrong with me to be a 23 year old without her first boyfriend, without her first kiss, without even a date or two. Every time a person asks me, “Any guy in your life?” I have to feel awkward. I always feel like I have to make up excuses or defend myself and choices.

But guess what? Waiting is honorable! I won’t stand for anything less than what God brings into my heart. Yes, and this had caused years of singlehood, years of not being asked out in school, years of hearing people laugh and belittle me when I tell them I’ve never had a first kiss, and eventually, years of watching others find their happiness in a relationship.

But these years also brought confidence in my own beliefs, likes, personality. They brought dear friendships and opportunities in life that couldn’t have happened otherwise. They brought contentment, growth, wisdom, and experience, and they brought me 23 years of relying and trusting in my Lord.

It’s not always easy…. waiting, but it’s always honorable my dear, honorable and brave.

Advertisements

Set in Motion

Are we not called to center our entire being in the Lord?

Well, could it be that is a painful process?

This is why we should always thank Him, even in our most painful moments, because He uses it to draw us closer to Him. Because whatever happens, not only reveals another side of our sinful flesh, but also the voice of the Spirit we may not have listened to before.

It’s a battlefield, one moment can set in motion a huge spiritual war with in you, one in which you know the true ending to, but it can feel like you’re being ripped a part.

Perhaps it feels that way because you are literally being ripped a part, as the Lord helps you remove that part of you which is sinful and a part from Him, often times, you have no idea what He is removing, so, the process is confusing, long lasting, and exhausting.

The Lord doesn’t just shape you, sometimes painfully, He also offers you His peace. He says He will always be with you. Be still and know that I am God. He will do the fighting for us if we place our faith in Him and continue to trust Him through the process.

I have felt lonely, aching, opposed, discouraged, weary, and even a little bit hopeless. I believe He can feel ALL of that and so my faith is not shaken. I haven’t questioned God’s sovereignty, His sacrifice, His grace, His character, or His love. My faith has remained steadfast. I like to think all this pain is only happening because God is merging another part of His soul into mine.

It hurts, but oh, is it worth it!

Dear Younger me, Allow others to be

Dear younger me,

Allow your friends to be the friend they are to you.

I do not mean let them treat you poorly, hurt you, or ignore you. When that happens, you need to set some boundaries or walk away.

No, I just mean you can expect all you want from your friends, but they are going to be who they are going to be.

I’ve spent so much of my life wishing certain friends would want to spend more time with me or they would say certain perfect things or react in a certain way. Sometimes, I desperately wanted some of my friends to be and act like a best friend, but they never did.

I continue to learn that even if they aren’t what you expected or they disappoint you greatly, each of them plays a special part in your life.

I pray you come to a place of peace where even if one of your friends is flaky or surfacey or rarely sees you, you still enjoy and embrace who they are in your life and you especially never allow their lack of friendship to chance your mood or view of yourself.

Each person can only give you so much. Yes, you absolutely deserve more, we all do, but constantly wanting and needing more from others will make you miserable.

Accept what others give to you, no matter how much or little. Trust that God gives you exactly what you need.

1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

“Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life. You should mind your own business and work hard with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.”

Did you read that? What is it that wins respect from outsiders? Pomp and Circumstance? Shouting the gospel at them?

Nope.

A quiet life and hard work.

A quiet, humble life is something I desperately seek. I do not always have a problem with the quiet part (though some would be to differ 😉 ), serving in many behind the scenes, thankless jobs, but humility is a struggle.

Again, I often find my heart seeking recognition. Humility, to me, is a quiet heart, quiet mouth, eyes only on Jesus kind of life. Because I have struggled with humility, I have in turn become “dependent on” others. I think those three words (anybody_ are very much affected by our attitudes and heart. For example, because I seek recognition, my confidence and mood is still very much dependent on the words of others, their actions, even their views of me.

If I gave up on my desire for a thank you, I would walk around freer. I would not be dependent on anybody’s response to what I do. However, I care too much about what they think and that holds me back from being quiet, humble, from even winning respect from outsiders.

Perhaps you are struggling with that too?

If we strive and seek to live the quiet life in these verses, we will find ourselves less dependent on others ideas of us and more “on our Lord and Savior”. So keep fighting the good fight.

The Maybes

Dear Younger me,

You will have moments when you get ahead of yourself with your emotions, particularly with guys.

As you grow older, looking for “the one”, you’ll find yourself searching for him often, even in randomness.

Each new young man you meet who fits whatever criteria you have in your mind will be a huge question mark, a possibility. Often times that question mark will be destroyed in the most painful of ways; he doesn’t like you, he’s taken, he’s not religious, etc. It will hurt and don’t you dare think your hurting is silly.

You’re allowed to hope and to admire the qualities in another so much, honoring them with your dreams of a possible future together.

But please younger me, do not let the times when the maybe is a no cause you to become bitter. God’s timing for you is perfect. Don’t let it cause you to covet. If he belongs to someone else, trust that God has someone just as perfect for you lined up. Don’t lower your standards. God will honor you for honoring Him. Don’t rush it. Enjoy the ride of singleness.

I know the maybes hurt, I’ve had my fair share of them, but just keep reminding yourself, there’s something better!