The Wrong Heart

*Written months ago

Acts 8:20-22

May your money perish with you because you thought you could buy the gift of God with money! You have no part or share in this ministry, because your heart is not right before God. Repent of this wickedness and pray to the Lord in the hope that he may forgive you for having such a thought in your heart.

Though I know all good things come from God, not based on our good works, but out of His will and  grace, these words said to Simon are convicting to me.

Especially when you are in ministry, spending the majority of your time and energy serving others, it’s easy to allow selfish thoughts into your mind. I can’t help but look at all the good I am doing or look at how I went above and beyond. I’ve been so faithful I’ve sacrificed a lot. Don’t I deserve _____________?

I begin to feel I am entitled to some kind of reward for what I’ve done. Like Simon, who wants to buy the power of the Holy Spirit with money, I think, I believe, I can somehow buy God’s blessings with my good work.

In response, Peter tells Simon to pray that God will forgive him for “having such a thought in (his) heart.”


I pray God would forgive me too. I pray He will change my heart. I pray He would make it so my thoughts are only of how much of an honor and joy it is to serve Him without any rewards except being in His presence always.

Dear Younger Me, So Many Voices

Dear Younger Me,

As a child you don’t mind other people making decisions for you or giving you advice.

As an adult you desire help from others when making big decisions, but your faced with A LOT of different opinions.

Part of your job is to somehow listen to them, but know when you should act on the advice or just listen.

Nothing is more confusing than hearing the valued people in your life go in different directions and advise you in a way you don’t want.

Sometimes you just have to go with what you know is best, what God gives you peace over.

He Knows

Some believers think they are single because of some past sin they committed. They think God is punishing them or holding back gifts because they messed up.

Then, others, wonder why they are still single when they do/did everything “right”. They can’t imagine why God wouldn’t reward them for their purity, single years, and faith.

Both sets of people are very wrong.

If God’s forgiveness is freely given to the first person, His gifts are also freely given to the second, whether you have lived “perfectly” or not.

Marriage is not earned. It is not taken away as a punishment. It is a gift and a challenging gift at that. It can only come from God.

And, just like a parent has to wait to give certain gifts to their child, God knows when we are ready.