A Letter to my Sisters

Why do I want to lose weight? Is it because I am unhealthy, I am fat, I am ugly? No at all!

Is it because I want to look the right way to others… specifically boys? Maybe.

Does our entire world revolve around men? Yes, I think it might.

Sure. It’s our curse. Eve was cursed because of her sinful choice, but I don’t care if that’s our curse! Jesus freed us from that, so why the heck are all of us women walking around making everything about men?

Did he notice me? Does he think I am pretty? How many guys have you dated? Would he even be interested in me?

Why is this what we think about?

If my girlfriend is having a problem, it almost always has to do with a guy. Why do we waste so much of our time thinking about them?

I am not trying to say men are less or unimportant. They are incredibly important, they are Christ’s image bearers too and they are beautiful, wonderful creations.

Just… it hurts my heart that we worry about all these small things, like, am I dressed girly enough to get that guy to notice?

My mom was probably told to dress girly.. so she, of course told me to dress girly, but why?

Yes! Express your femininity. I love it! Dress up, put on make up, jewelry, feel like a princess, but don’t do it just to get a guy to notice.. do it because you feel like a princess, the daughter of the one true king!

I’m beginning to realize a lot of my jealousy towards girls has to do with men. She gets asked out more than me. She has more guy friends. She got married first. And so on. Now, we’re creating division between ourselves because of men? THAT MAKES NO SENSE!

I have value a part from man. Yup, that’s right. I may have come from Adam’s rib, but that doesn’t mean I need a man to be valuable… why is that?

Because I have no value a part from Christ! He gives me my value. A part form Him, I am nothing. So shouldn’t my world revolve around Him? So why is it about men?

I am so tired of my beautiful, strong, confident, Godly girl friends feeling less than, anxious, hurt, insecure, unwanted, angry, heartbroken because some guy did something or didn’t do something. I am not blaming the men (though sometimes they do terrible things and so do women). I am blaming sin and I’m blaming us women, maybe even this society!

How many tv shows or movies are out there that have to do with just women? Or a woman who’s life does not revolve around a man?  – Not many.

But, it’s truly up to us. I still like men, I still desire their attention, want their friendship, value who they are, and want to get married to one someday, but I don’t want my life to be all about them.

I want to walk into a room and not think, am I attractive? Or think, did he notice or care?

I want to walk into a room and do whatever the heck I was supposed to do in the first place without those thoughts about a guy.

Basically, the worries, insecurities, sometimes prideful thoughts are exhausting and worthless. Spend your time on better things, spend your thoughts on higher thoughts.

I want to be a single woman who loves other unconditionally, works hard at whatever I am doing, serves God with all her heart, and forgets about pleasing man (that includes women too) and someday, if God wills it, I want to be a married woman who loves unconditionally, serves God with all her heart, and forgets about pleasing man (including women).

And I pray this for all my female friends and male friends too. Let us live free, free from allowing our lives to be burdened with striving to be liked by humans. Jesus gave us that freedom. Let’s not take it for granted!

Advertisements

Love is Patient

I never really thought about the order of Corinthians 13:4-7. These verses were always the beautiful lines you hear at weddings, “love is patient, love is kind.”

Wait! Why does patient come before kind? Why is it the first way love is described?

Maybe Paul meant nothing deep by starting with patient, but it struck a chord in me.

The truth is, in this world, love is rarely patient. From teenagers kissing and dating to adults going too fast and too far, very rarely do you find patience in relationships.

Let’s examine another famous saying, “good things come to those who wait.” Do you believe that?
I know, sometimes I don’t!
Yet look at school. We spend at least 12 years in school, learning,growing, understanding, so we may graduate and get a better job or get into a good college. We can’t rush through because if we did, we probably wouldn’t be as prepared for a job or college.

I realize this is a disconnected example, but my heart and mind are beginning to understand and treasure how romantic and valuable patience is in love. When has taking time to get to know someone ever hurt a relationship in the long run? Would you feel more loved by a guy or girl immediately asking you out and skipping straight to physical intimacy or if they told you they’d like to get to know who you are and respect you as a person? We all go too far too fast.

I’ve recently started admiring a certain man I know and my first instinct was to start imagining him liking me back and asking me out. My initial wish and prayer was that we would get together, that he would pursue me. Yet, I do not even know this man all that well.

I began to realize my thoughts. I told myself to stop and instead pray that he and I would have chances to get to know one another.

I do think some people know from the start that they’ve found the one, but I think more often than not taking your time, slowing things down, won’t hurt things and may even reveal the other person’s character because real love is patient.

Rushing is not Godly while patience comes directly from the Holy Spirit.

Dear Younger Me, Just Because

Dear Younger me,

Just because a man is good, kind, handsome, Godly, etc., and you are also a pretty darn good catch, doesn’t mean you’ll end up together.

If he doesn’t like you, that doesn’t mean you are less. Your identity, your awesomeness is not tied to him.

God loves you and if a good guy like that is not your possible partner, then trust that the Lord has something even better up His sleeve. Don’t start questioning the person you are. Start identifying the ways God has made you and blessed you.

Dear Younger me Stop Guessing and Wait

Dear Younger me,
Stop trying to guess what God has up His sleeves for you. You’ll take the fun out of life.
Besides, whatever you guess, will fall incredibly short of His plans for you.
He loves you more than anything in the world.

 

Dear Younger me,

Wait. There’s no need to rush.
Right now it may seem like if you don’t act, the chance will slip away.
If we are talking about relationships, you don’t have to jump into them.
If a guy likes you in the right way, the unselfish way, he’ll stick around.
If you’re unsure, if your emotions aren’t clear, do him and yourself a favor and be patient.
If he goes away, he wasn’t worth it and you won’t have missed your chance. You will have missed some heart break.
Stop moving forward without checking the path ahead of you.
Take your time. Get to know him. Know your own feelings. It will be worth the wait.

“The One”

Everyone in this world is looking for “the One”, their soul mate, that one true love! I used to be too, but now I know it doesn’t exist. Not to say there isn’t someone out there for you, who can be a partner, friend, companion for the rest of your days, but “the one” is not that guy or girl you have been searching for all your life.

Jesus is the One! To quote a classic romantic love song, “He is all you’ll ever hope for, He’s all you’ll ever need”. And truth be told, He is the only one who can meet those romantic movie expectations of Yours.

Sadly, even followers of Jesus walk around waiting for “the One”, acting like they haven’t already found Him. Wake up! You have! He’s here and He’ll never leave you. Stop searching for that magical soul mate, because Jesus knows your soul better than any boy or girl ever could.

Dear Younger me, Butterflies and Trust

Dear Younger me,

It’s okay to feel nervous. Over time, as you learn to trust in the Lord, those nerves will disappear because you will hand it all over to Him. This takes time!

I’ve learned to see scary moments as opportunities to have an adventure with God. Somehow this keeps the butterflies and queasiness at bay, but it took different experiences to get me here and it’s still not perfect.

Nerves and fear even still can give me that anxious dread in the pit of my stomach. However, I think it’s okay to feel that. If you are still, in your nervousness, sitting there, trusting Him, calling on His name, praising Him, you are still choosing the right path and winning a spiritual battle.

If you keep choosing to trust Him, even in your fear, He’ll honor that and those butterflies will slowly fade away.

 

 

Beautiful things don’t ask for Attention

Psalm 19: 1-4

“The skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge. They have no speech, they use no words; no sound is heard from them. Yet their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world.”

When we look up at a beautiful blue sky or a blazing sunset or even a black abyss with sparkling stars, it is hard to deny the existence of a creator.

We become moved by His creativity, power, and care.

Yet, the sky did not literally speak to us, making sure we knew God created it, God is creative and powerful.

Not to say speech isn’t powerful, as it says in Colossians; “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt.” Certainly through our speech we can impact someone’s day, someone’s life! And God calls us to proclaim the gospel which often time means we must speak.

However, i think we open our mouths more often than we should.

If the sky spoke as much as we do, I believe it would lose its beauty and powerful message.

I think we also can choose to not speak so that God can be revealed to others. Our actions, our posture, our smile, our work, can all point loudly back to God.

Amazingly, though the sky does not speak, “their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world.”

You are just as beautiful, even more miraculous of a creation than the sky. If the sky can say SO much without speaking, I believe we can too.